By Joel Nowak

Brushing Away The Clouds

By Joel Nowak

In my life, hope and despair are inextricably intertwined. I have come to understand that I must celebrate life’s low points as well as its high points.

I have heard on three separate occasions, “Joel, you have cancer.”

I have struggled through the impact of hearing those messages as well as multiple surgeries and follow-up treatments. I have experienced impotence, incontinence, fatigue, inability to walk, severe memory and concentration deficits, and significant pain.

Somehow, even during the worst, I managed to discover moments, places and, most important, people who fill me with such delight that everything seemed clear and beautiful.

My synagogue’s rabbinic intern, Rachael Bregman, recently spoke of finding herself hanging upside down from her bike pedals. A fellow racer helped her right herself. We all need to learn how to dust ourselves off after a spill and continue on our way, she said. There are times we need to ask for help and there are times we need to give help.

I have learned a lot about my cancers but most important, I have learned how to get up, brush myself off and thank God for what I do have.

I have also learned to ask for help and I have found an important role in helping others brush themselves off and continue on their journey. I have replaced the unanswerable question, “Why me?” with a much more important question, “What next?”

Joel Nowak, 58, of New York City is a survivor of thyroid, prostate and kidney cancers.